Happy Festivus, rest of us!
‘Twas the night before Festivus
And all through my pad
We were scrounging every scrap
Of mystery meat to be had
We looked to the west
We looked to the east
For the perfect loaf to serve
For the Festivus feast!
Tomorrow we dine
On questionable fair
And then the grievances
We shall each air
My girlfriend, she’ll recall
Something I said
Two years ago
And smack me in the head
And I, in return,
Will turn up the heat
Reminding her she leaves
Down the toilet seat
The feats of strength
Astound us a lot
For I once carried her mother
As though she weighed naught
My girlfriend moved,
Not to be outdone,
Took off her clothes
For some Feat of Strength fun.
For her Feat of Strength,
A Festivus Miracle,
Was to do her stripper dance
On the Festivus pole!
Hanakkuh is somber,
Christmas too crass.
But a Festivus for the rest of us
Is always a blast